Musings of Mother's Day In My Sixties

When my kids were growing up, Mother's Day was a big deal. We always went to my mom's and my mil's and tried to plan things so Mom wouldn't have to do all the work for the big group of kids and grandkids that would be coming over. In retrospect, I wonder how successful we were.

Today my kids are all over the country. From a distance they do a good job of letting me know that they're glad I'm their mom. And I enjoy the casualness of a Mother's Day where nothing firm is planned.

But I miss what I dreamed my Mother's Days would be. I long for my whole family together more than once every couple of years. I agonize over a son far away and unreachable. I'm not feeling sorry for myself - too much. It's just not how I thought it would be.

I have the best children and children-in-law in the world. I have 19 grandchildren that any woman would kill for. I have a great grandson that's brilliant and amazing and another one on the way. I'm blessed beyond reason and I'm so grateful. I thank God that I have Beth and her wonderful family in the area and I'm profoundly grateful for her baby, our newest grandchild. I'm so lucky.

But I can't help but feel just a tiny bit disappointed. Would anybody really believe me if I pretended I weren't? I wouldn't change one thing about my children and I wouldn't trade what I have for anything in the world but I have some advice for you. Never let your kids go to college in another area, never let them join the military, and never let them meet somebody that will sweep them away to another part of the country.

That's my recipe for a truly Happy Mother's Day year after year.

So that was the end of that post. That's how I left it while I did some housecleaning which is always a good time to do some thinking and I thought to add on two things.

One - I've got everything anybody could ever want. My kids, and this isn't just rhetoric, are as close to perfect as human children can be. And one day a year, things don't go my way and I write about it and feel kind of sorry for myself? I told myself to get a grip and remember what my mother used to tell me. "If wishes were horses, we'd all have a ride". Besides, when you're retired, isn't everyday Mother's Day?

Two - I don't like to admit it but there were times during those idyllic days when we created those (what we thought were) perfect days for our mothers and mils when I would say, "You know? It's my Mother's Day too. Wouldn't it be nice if I could just do what I would like to do?" Yes, I did. And I think I said those words out loud. So #2 is: Some people are never happy AND be careful what you wish for. LOL

Mother's Day

Who could have foreseen it? Six beautiful children. I remember all the Mother's Days when our kids were young spent with my mother-in-law and my mom. What beautiful days those were. And I never thought ahead to the days when my family would spend Mother's Days with me. And it's a good thing too. Because I might have looked disappointed. I won't lie. I am taken aback at the way things have worked out. I never could have foreseen spending Mother's Day without a child in sight.

But it's happening and it's okay. I have one in San Francisco, the Detroit area, Louisville, Colorado Springs, Virginia, and Nebraska. Jobs, marriage, and the rare opportunity to just get away for a few days has caused this unusual scenario. So it gives me time to reflect on being the mother of these wonderful children. I read a letter in an advice column today from a mother to her children and it urges her children to tell her they love her now while she's alive. Later when they're at the cemetery is too late. She wants to hear it now. I thought there was a good message there but somehow it seems too sad and morose. Besides, I know my children love me. I know that despite the mistakes I've made (both real and imagined), they continue to be happy to have me for their mother. And that's why being the mother of six children that I adore and am proud of and the mother-in-law to all their spouses, grandmother to their children, and a great grandmother to one is enough.

This is what Mother's Day is about. It's a day to appreciate the incredible gift I've been given. No one's ever been given more.

I'm so very grateful for this day.