What Would You Do?

My granddaughter, Amber, is in town for a short visit. Last night she was leaving to visit her dad and I threw on a coat to help her take her little ones out to her giant Dodge Ram pickup truck. She can manage the boys, ages 24 months and 5 months, just fine herself but it was so bitterly cold that I wanted to help cut down the length of time the boys would be outside. Right after we stepped out the door we heard a strange keening, crying, screaming sound from about four houses down the street.

Little Jack asked what that noise was and I said it was probably just kids playing but I kept looking down the street to see if I could see anything. Amber was concerned also and said she would look around when she got to the stop sign. When she got there, she called me and said there was a kid standing on the porch of a dark house and when Amber asked if he was okay, he didn't answer.

I started walking quickly down the street and as I got closer and and the wailing continued, I called 911. When I got close I saw what appeared to be an adolescent standing on the porch looking at me and crying. I said, 'are you okay". And SHE cried, 'No, I can't feel my feet'!

I hurried up to the porch and hugged her close while Amber pulled into the driveway. At that point I told the dispatcher that I was going to put her in the warm truck cab. He agreed that we should and said a 'unit' was on the way.

As the shivering child tried to warm herself, I asked how old she was and she said, to my surprise, 15. I asked how long she had been out there and she said she had no idea. She was short, wore cute classes, and had her super curly hair in a pony tail.

The policeman arrived and asked how long she had been out there. She said since she got off the bus at 5:30. We simultaneously looked at our watches. It was 6:00. He asked her if there was a place she could go and she told him her family had a daycare on Franklin street, the main street in town so he said he'd take her there.

So that should have been the end of the drama for us right? But it wasn't quite. The policeman pulled away, I started to walk home, Amber tried to back out of the driveway but, unnoticed by me, there was a late model SUV waiting to pull into the driveway and traffic was getting backed up in both directions which is why I was trying to get out of there - to decrease the congestion and confusion. Then Amber beeped her horn to alert me to the fact that the girl's parents seemed to be home and I turned around to explain that the child was being taken to the family's daycare on Franklin Street. But the policeman had turned around also and the child was exiting his cruiser and the mother was shouting "Where have you been! We've been looking for you for a half hour!"

So I went home and, although I was probably outside only about ten minutes, I was frozen. It was 14 degrees and my face, feet, and hands hurt from the cold! I could only imagine how this young girl felt. I paced around and thought about it for a few minutes and made my decision. I just had to explain to her parents how the police got involved, how cold and frightened she must have been, and that if there was ever another mix-up, I hoped they would use our house as a refuge/meeting place. Also, I was nonplussed by the report from Amber that she could hear the mother shouting at her daughter and dropping the F bomb like it was her first language.

I knocked on the door and the mother opened it and stepped out on the porch to talk closing the door behind her. I had barely started explaining why I was there when she interrupted. She shook my hand, thanked me for trying to help, said she would have done the same thing, explained that her daughter was a typical teen and had been in trouble before after having run away for two days, shook my hand again, told me she was mad at the policeman (because he wasn't interested in her explanations and said he just wanted to get the girl out of his car), and really never let me finish a sentence or explain the things I wanted to explain.

I came home feeling like I had done what I could but still a bit uneasy. Amber came home later feeling uneasy and as if we should do more. She also was angry at the policeman because she felt he should have followed through and investigated a little bit what was going on in the home.

So I wonder, should we have done more? And what would you do?

Happy Birthday, Beth

A year ago I wrote this post about Beth since we had just celebrated her birthday. It's pretty much 'The Story of Beth'. This year, in keeping with my new birthday tradition, I interviewed her. Note: I've inserted pictures throughout this interview that may or may not be pertinent to what we're discussing. Sometimes they just have to be included.

What's the most surprising thing about being an adult? I'm surprised by many things, like how tired I am. Growing up, I couldn't wait to get old so I could stay up late and watch TV... Now I can't wait to go to bed and I pretty much think about it all day long.
What's the hardest, surprising thing about being an adult? That I still have to sneak Twinkies.

What's the best thing about being almost 34? Probably that I feel like I know myself pretty well by now.
What's the worst thing about it? Nothing.

What did you like best about your childhood? Probably having so many brothers and sisters.
What did you like least? Probably having so many brothers and sisters.

What makes you such an interesting blogger? Honestly, I have no idea. If I am, it's probably because I'm honest and willing to share what goes on in my day-to-day life and I'm not really afraid of what people think of me. Wait, maybe I shouldn't say that but it's true. In the end, though, I love it when I feel love from my readers. I just love sharing my life and I love hearing from others.
You're a SAHM, a prolific blogger, a business woman, and a professional photographer. How do you wear so many hats? I guess I rarely allow myself to just sit and relax and I have a very messy house. (Interviewer's note: This is absolutely not true - is it possible she doesn't know what a VERY messy house is?)
What single event in your childhood might have been important in shaping your future? One time I got beat up for calling a kid a bad name. It was physically painful and unnecessarily violent, but that single event taught me to always be careful with my words and how I talk to people - whether I know them or not. Interviewer's note: :(
What adjectives would describe you as a child? Pragmatic, funny, sincere, honest, caring, independent.What adjectives would describe you as a teenager? Idealistic, very funny, a little stubborn, ridiculously skinny, and pretty dumb.What adjectives would describe you an an adult? Ridiculously skinny (hahahaha!), sincere, honest, guileless, truthful, amazing (this from Brian), awesome and particular (from Anna), and cute (from Noah).
Who (besides me, of course - just taking her off the hook here) might have been the most instrumental in shaping you into the person you are today? My maternal grandma because she appreciated the simple and important thing in life like weather and gardening and family. I have memories of feeling like she was this perfect person like the kind of person I'd want to be. I remember admiring her at a really young age for the way she could just do anything (I was mesmerized by how she peeled an apple for example) and the way she treated everybody. Now, when I have family over for dinner, I marvel that she didn't have our time and labor saving devices, but she made amazing meals without fussing and they were perfect. I'm just in awe of her spirit and her grace and I hope to have even just a fourth of that because it's really beautiful.
I know your friends are incredibly important to you. Why? I actually am not sure I can really articulate why. I know that, yes, they are completely precious to me, each one for different reasons. I love being there for them. I love that they are there for me. I love sharing life from this angle with them, this 'hey, I'm a mom, you're a mom, we have all of these responsibilities but sometimes, let's share hilarious and obscene videos over email'. We laugh and we get each other, we cry and sometimes we disagree, and I can't imagine not having that in my life.
Is being a mother how you imagined it would be when you were a little girl playing with dolls? No, it is not. My dolls never had dirty diapers and never woke me up in the middle of the night over and over again, and I like my kids better than I liked my dolls. Also, being able to comfort your kids when they need it and teaching them and guiding them is a million times better than playing with dumb dolls.
What do you like about being a wife? I really like it when I can make Brian laugh. I love having a partner, someone to bounce ideas off, someone to raise my eyebrows with when one of our kids says a startling word. I love watching him grow as a father, a man, and a husband. It may not be as romantic as I had envisioned when we were engaged but marriage just seems to get better and better, even with our struggles, and yes, we have struggles. I guess I just feel like in marriage, you have this outside world that challenges you all the time and each time you're challenged and you win, it's like you're a real team and with each battle won, you've become stronger.
What are your goals and dreams? My biggest hope is that twenty years down the road, my kids think they had a good mom and a good childhood. I have big dreams for my photography business that's I'm not ready to share but which will require tons of hard work, dedication, and support from my family. I know that someday I want a house in the country with little barns and houses around the property, a home with tons of windows and natural light, a tire swing, and plenty of room for running and grandkids. I want Brian and I to take at least one vacation a year together, alone; and one a year with the kids. Mostly, I just really, really want to continue to be happy.
What else can you tell us about yourself that I haven't asked you about? I talk too much, but I love telling stories so it's hard for me to stop, I do not understand football at all, and I really wish I like more kinds of fruit.
If you had it to do all over again, what might you do differently? Not one single thing.

There are some things that I could tell you about Beth that you probably don't know.

She and her sister, Sarah, entertain us every year with their SNL act:
She's totally quirky and fun:

She may or may not have a past that would surprise you (lol):

And, she's been an important family photographer for a long time:

And then there are the things that you do know. Beth is an amazing woman, loyal to her friends and family, and capable and willing to do whatever needs to be done. She's an incredible blessing to all of us and I thank God that I get to be part of her life.

Happy 34th birthday, Beth!

One's In Afghanistan, One's In Iraq

We have two sons. They were born in 1973 and they've been a source of pride and joy since the two moments when they were born - ten minutes apart.

So how did it come to be that one is in Afghanistan and one is in Iraq?

Back when the boys were seniors in high school, we finally came to the realization that it was too late to start making financial plans for college. We had six kids and the strain financially had been enormous for years.

It's more complicated than this, but in a nutshell this was the crux of our difficulties. When Mr. Right came home from the Air Force he'd accrued enough seniority to walk back into one of the highest paying jobs in the mill where he worked. And everything in our lives was based on that high paying job - our house, our habits, and our family. But when an opportunity arose for him to take an apprenticeship that would lead to no more shift work, we couldn't let him pass it up. He hated shift work and so did I. The only problem was that his pay plummeted. Conversely, as his pay plummeted, the bills spiraled, and for years it was all we could do to keep our heads above water.

Now the kids were in high school or had just graduated and I had an archaic philosophy that was about to shape the lives of both our sons. The boys had to go to college no matter what, because some day they would have wives and families and they needed to support them properly. What about the girls? Well, someday they should have husbands with educations that would allow them to support their families. If the girls went to college, great! But it wasn't vital in my mind like it was vital for the boys to go. Although they were both talented athletes with good grades, there were no scholarships for talented athletes with good grades. Then one day they came home and said that there were scholarships available for boys with good characters. Bingo!

The Army turned out to be such a good fit for them. One of their first challenges was to compete for a medal that required weeks of practice and tests. One hundred young men from their unit started the challenge. Three finished. Two were our sons.

The next big challenge was Ranger school - a test of endurance so challenging that men had lost their lives during it's course. To successfully graduate, a soldier has to prove himself capable of operating effectively under conditions of extreme mental and physical stress. And that doesn't come close to describing the physical endurance requirements, the sleep deprivation, and the sustained austere conditions they endure plus all the ways they can fail including, at the conclusion of the hardest 61 days of their lives, when they can be peered out. In other words, someone in each unit, after all their sacrifice and effort, is voted out. Both boys proudly wear Ranger tabs on their left shoulders.

I was determined to write this post without sounding like I was bragging but it seems like everything I write is bragging. It's not. I'm just telling you how it is. The Army was a great fit for both of them.

They both have Bachelors and Masters degrees and have taken advantage of just about every training opportunity that the Army offers. They've lived in or trained in dozens of locations in the United States - many together for awhile - mostly separated lately.

They have the most beautiful families you could imagine. Loving wives who sacrifice so much while their husbands are away and then open their arms and lovingly, gratefully embrace them when they return. Their children are all awesome and part of the reason has to be that their dads were never satisfied to be less than an integral part of their lives. They both have fine homes in lovely neighborhoods and both have beautifully renovated every property they've ever owned. They're very important in their families.

And they're very important in their jobs. They do things that the normal citizen could not begin to fathom. And their careers so far have been stellar with promotions we could only have dreamed of and experiences unparalleled in a normal lifetime.

So when I write a post like this or like this, I'm trying to say that I'm sad that they're making such an enormous sacrifice in being deployed. But what I should also be saying is that I'm proud beyond measure of our amazing sons. I'm proud of what they do and how stoically and conscientiously they do it. And I'm proud that they embrace yet another difficult challenge with one thought - there's a job that needs to be done well and he's the man to do it.

And that's how it came to be that I'm baking cookies tonight and tomorrow I'll send one box to Afghanistan and one to Iraq.

You Capture - Red

I'm back. I hope. I've missed You Capture - the challenge, the fellowship, and even the competition though there isn't any. Just fellowship and maybe a tiny bit of competition. You know capturing that photo that collects gasps audible in print.

Well I didn't capture any of that kind of spectacularness but I did capture red and this red can be in honor of Beth. Sure I planned it that way.

And there was red for sure last week in Anna's talent show.

Maybe the red in the next picture is a little too vibrant. Obviously photo editing is not my strong suit.

You think this is blurry read. It may be but it's also snowy red.

And I didn't know it but there are red accents all over the place out there. All I had to do was look.

If you like 'seeing red' and want to see more of it, visit Beth at Ishouldbefoldinglaundry.

Happy Birthday, Jenna

A year ago or so I wrote a post about Jenna since we were celebrating her ninth birthday.

Today she turns ten years old so last night we chatted on the phone. She was on her way home from softball practice because last summer she was invited to play club softball with a traveling team. So I interviewed her as she traveled home.

So you're going to be ten tomorrow. Are you excited? Yeah

Why? Because I like my birthdays. They're fun.

When you're ten, does that mean you're a preteen? NO. That's when you're eleven.

Are you going out to dinner tomorrow night to celebrate? Yeah

Where will you go? I don't know yet but I get to pick.

Who's going to go? Me, Jeremy and mom and I don't know if Amber's going to come or not.

How do you like having a big sister like Amber? I like it!

Why? Because she's fun to visit and I like it because it's cool having an older sister.

You're only nine years old right now and already you're an aunt. Do you like that? Yeah.

What do you like about having two nephews? I like them because I like to feed them a lot and it's fun to have them around and it's fun to be an aunt.

Which one is the most fun? They're the same.

How is school? Good!

Do you like it? Uh huh.

What kind of grades do you get? All A's and one B.

Are you naughty in school? No! I'm one of the best kids in the class.

What makes you one of the best kids? My good behavior because I listen all the time to my teacher and I do my work good.

Do you have to stand in the corner very often? Nope, never.

What is your favorite subject? Ummmmm, I want to say Literacy Activities. It's like where you read with the teacher or by yourself and you do writing.

Do you have a BFF? Yeah, Chelsea.

What is she like? Ummm, she's really nice and she is very helpful to me. She's really smart and she's one of the best kids in the class, too.

Who's your favorite cousin? Anna

Why? Because she's really fun to play with.

Do you have a boyfriend? Ewww, I don't have one. Boys are icky.

Even Jeremy (her brother)? Yeah, kind of.

What's your favorite season - Winter, Spring, Summer, or Fall? Spring.

Why? Because the weather is just perfect.

What do you like to do outside in the perfect weather?

I like to play softball.

Is that your favorite sport? Yeah

Why? Because you get out there and work hard and have fun.

What position do you play? Pitcher and sometimes first base.

What kind of pitching do you do? Windmill.

Are you good? Yeah, I'm fast at pitching.

What's the name of your softball team? The Thunderbirds.

Do you think you might play more sports someday? Ummm, I think I might do gymnastics or something.

If you had to decide right now what you'll be when you grow up, what would it be? Teacher or professional softball player.

Why? Because it looks like fun to do all that stuff.

Jenna couldn't think of any more interesting things for me to tell you, but I could. She's a sweet, lovable, and helpful girl who is sensitive to the feelings of everyone around her and anxious to spread happiness wherever she goes.

So, Jenna, we're wishing you a very, very happy tenth birthday. We love you very much!