I sent Dan an email, really? Was it yesterday? I thought it was at least two days ago - maybe even a little more. But I just double-checked and, no, it was just about 24 hours ago. So for that 72 hours since yesterday at this time, he's been even more on my mind than usual though that doesn't really seem possible.
I get pretty anxious for that reply but I don't want him to feel that the minute he hears from me, he has to answer. And I try not to write back immediately because I don't want him to feel that he owes me a reply all the time. I want him to be as relaxed as possible with no pressure from me.
So I hold off writing for at least a day (although now I wonder if it's only an hour since where Iraq is concerned, time is so skewed for me). Once I write to him, I start anticipating.
And then he writes.
I wish I could describe the emotion that I feel because it's overpowering. I feel choked up with happiness that I heard from him. I'm grateful that he sent his address and that he actually told me a couple of things we could send him - chocolate of any kind and a soft, heavy blanket. Oh how I love that he told me that.
And then he includes a little bit of Dan humor at the end and it makes me so nostalgic. It's always subtle and it's always funny.
And he tells us that conditions are pretty bad but he's been in worse and I muse, "does he mean during the invasion? probably". So I know it's pretty not great there but he adds that he's really busy and that's good because time goes faster. He's looking at the bright side but I'm starting to resent that my son has to wish for time to go faster. This is his life.
But before I get too resentful, I think about how proud I am of what he and his brother do and how much pride they take in their jobs. They know how important they are even if not everyone else does. And the jobs have to be done. So I'm also proud that they step up. They don't just put in the time - they work hard and they work well.
So it's a happy woman writing this post. And guess what? Only about 11 months and 3 days to go.
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I'm pretty sure that I would have a hard time waiting to respond and get a response too. You are an amazing mother of amazing kids. Hang in there, mama!
ReplyDeleteIt chokes me up just reading this. I hate so much him being there but I am also SO PROUD of him, I know he's doing an amazing job. ....just counting down the days..... Hang in there, Mom!
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine what you're feeling or going through, but I do know that your son is a hero and my family and I are so very thankful for the work that he does.
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine how proud you are Mary because I'm proud of your boys and I don't even know them. I'd have a hard time waiting too.
ReplyDeleteMary:
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine how you must feel..I know for a fact that if this was my son, I would be pacing the floors waiting for the reply and then I would not be able to wait a day. I would reply immediately and then I would start pacing again...You should be proud of both Dan and Dave. I am proud of them, but as a mother, you will never be able to explain how proud you are of each one of your children..Keep the faith, and the day will come when Dan will return home again, but I know not as soon as you would like.
I'm so glad Dan gave you items to send to him. (remind me to get his address from you, k?)
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm equally happy that he was able to respond, he is such a great guy.
This really makes me rethink the expression "one day at a time." Even one day is an eternity to spend worrying about your child, and I simply can't fathom a whole year of days like that. In my mind, you are just as brave as your son. Thinking of you and your family!
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