My Heart Is Filled With Gratitude

Elijah Harrison was born yesterday morning at 6:46 a.m. He weighed 8 lbs 3 oz but the weight off my heart far exceeded eight pounds.

After we lost James and Jake a little over two years ago, I have been afraid for Beth and her family. We have a history of midterm and full term losses in our family that is greater than the law of averages and I was so afraid that Beth would never have another child. And when she got pregnant I was even more afraid that she would suffer another loss and I didn't know how she (or any of us) would get through it.

The only bad thing about being a mother is that sometimes we have to endure our child's unhappiness and that is a painful feeling like no other.

But God has put all that behind us now. The pregnancy ended successfully yesterday morning at 6:46 a.m. when Elijah was born.

He's perfect and beautiful and (unlike his older siblings) won't spend even one minute in the neonatal intensive care unit. He's in the room with his glowing mother and loving father and that's just how it should be.

So right now, I thank God from the bottom of my heart for this gift, this miracle. I'm grateful beyond measure.

And you can see why. Here he is at one hour old:

And then bathed, dressed and rooming with his mom at about four hours:

I have to go now. I have some one important to see and hold in my arms. Oh, and I'm going to hold Eli too.

Our Christmas House

It started on December 26th. We moved many of our Christmas decorations, all our cookies, my special very hearty beef barley soup and ourselves into the house our family rented for a week because it was big enough to accommodate everybody.

For one week, I saw a beautiful grandchild's face every time I turned around. I got to see one of my children and his or her spouse any time I wanted. I made ice cream cones every night. We took 14 of our grandchildren shopping so they could pick out their own presents. We feasted on Beth's tea ring every morning. One night I heard my sons laugh together for hours like I hadn't heard them laugh in years - a deep, hilarious belly laugh that makes me smile to remember it, sharing a bond that's been part of their lives since they were born. You can see how hard they're laughing in this picture:


We all went to lunch together. I watched my grandchildren play together and interact with cousins they hadn't seen for a year and I appreciated what wonderful children they all are. Despite the fact that two of the kids couldn't make it, for one week I was overwhelmed with happiness and joy. And, I got to talk with the new mommy in our family everyday while she kept us updated on our eighteenth grandchild's progress.

We may not get together as often as many families but when we do, it's complete and intense and lasts for a solid week and it doesn't get any better than that.

Then, suddenly, all too soon, it was over.

Trey Cooper

Beautiful perfect blessing, Trey Cooper, was born December 21st, 2009 at 4:56 Eastern. He weighed 8 pounds 14.6 ounces and was 21 1/2 inches long. He came out looking like a perfect baby who had been around for a few weeks. He was strong and robust and you couldn't look at him without falling completely in love.

Just look at this baby at the ripe old age of 6 minutes:

And here he is at exactly 2 hours of age.

The most recent pictures I have of this beautiful boy were taken at a little over 18 hours old. It doesn't seem like it would be possible but I think he's getting more beautiful by the hour.

And now I can't stop praying and thanking God for this gift. At my age and with my experience, no one knows better than I do that these miracles can't be taken for granted. Trey is here. That makes the grandchild count 11 boys and 7 girls. And one great grandson for good measure. We are truly blessed.

A Very Good Night

Whenever I get blog blocked, I have to remind myself that this entire blog effort is a journal. A place for me to look back on my journey into and through (hopefully) the sixties. That's when I realize that there are unspecial moments and events that I want to remember. Like tonight.

Our granddaughter, her husband, and Superbaby are still with us which is great! Unfortunately though things have been so chaotic that we really haven't had an entire evening together. They're often invited to her dad's for dinner and don't get back until Superbaby's bedtime. This is fine and we're happy with the arrangement however it goes; but I forgot how great it is to have them here for dinner.

I forgot that my granddaughter will always help get dinner on the table (the reason that seems foreign to me is that yesterday she was just an adorably spoiled little 3-year-old) and that our grandson-in-law will do whatever he can to help. And how pleasant it is for us all to sit around the table and eat a home-cooked meal and how much I love showing them a new recipe or meal for them to add to their repertoire of meals and dishes. And then afterwards everybody pitches in with the clean-up and takes turns playing with Superbaby.

That's when I realize yet again that it just doesn't get any better than this.

And it doesn't hurt to look outside at the miserable weather and remind myself that I don't have to walk 9 or 10 miles in it tomorrow and that I can take all the time I want tonight to enjoy my family because I don't have to start getting everything ready for work tomorrow.

Life is unbelievably sweet and I'm unbelievably thankful.

Busy Times

I can't believe how much adjustment is required in retirement. I can't, seriously CAN'T, believe that that there's so much to do daily and that, even though I make an ever growing 'To Do' list, I've never accomplished everything on it in a single day. I like having the list though. It helps keep things from falling through the cracks and it keeps me on track. I include everything from taking my pills to making my bed. I make sure to do some laundry every day and I edit some pictures too although not as many as I used to because I found out how little time I really have. I love these days though. I'll always be grateful for every single one of them and for everything I've been able to do that I couldn't have done if I were still giving more physical effort everyday than I had to give. I just can't wait until Mr. Right joins me. We're going to have such a good time and part of the reason will be that we can travel at the drop of a hat if we want to.

I've been trying to evolve my koi husbandry skills with some degree of success. There are no longer any koi in the two tubs outside. I've moved a total of 100 of them into the goldfish pond (where there are no goldfish of course), and the last 42 were moved into the aquarium yesterday. Here they are just before they were introduced into their new home.


Cute aren't they?

I was able to add this many to the aquarium, first of all because they're so small and secondly because the numbers of the ones that had been in the aquarium seemed to be diminishing ever since we put Mr. Algae Eater back in there. So before we added the 42, we netted the fast growing algae eater and took him for a one way ride to our local tropical fish store.

I'd estimate that there are about a hundred babies in the aquarium now and I did put 100 more into the goldfish pond where I never ever see more than six at a time which is worrisome. Also worrisome is the plan is to keep the outside koi in the rather shallow goldfish pond over winter with a pond heater or two. (Mr. Right doesn't know it yet but my next big push will be to get a portable generator. Otherwise a power loss in the middle of winter could result in the loss of our entire stock of koi.)

So it goes.

And I muse about people who hate retirement because they're so bored. Could it be because they don't have koi ponds? Or maybe they don't have a computer and a blog and Wii Fit (that's a story for another day) or gardens or books or a camera or WHAT? I don't get it. I really don't but I thank God that as long as I have my faculties and can get around unaided, I don't think I'll ever be bored with retirement. It's really too splendid for words!

It Really Doesn't Get Any Better Than This

Some of the family is here now. There are children around and grandchildren and a great grandchild. And there are more on the way. And my heart just swells with happiness that so many of us will be together for a couple of days. (Unfortunately not everybody could make it but I can't let that little bit of negativity take away from my happiness.)

So I'm puttering around trying to clear away every bit of clutter because we'll need all the room we can get. I'm planning lunch, cutting a canteloupe, looking forward to Beth, Ariel, and Racecar's arrival and thinking about where Second Born Army Guy and his family is right now. I'm thinking they have about 8 hours to go.

Then my wonderful grandson-in-law was dealing with a fussy baby who was really, really tired but only wanted his daddy to entertain him. He refused his paci, shut his eyes tight, and yelled. So I got a cup of water to dip the paci in and it worked! And my grandson-in-law, after putting Superbaby down for his nap said, "That water idea was brilliant".

Right after that, one of my Colorado Springs grandsons had trouble playing a game on Mr. Right's computer so we rebooted it, downloaded some updates, and it worked. I asked him how the game was working and my sweet grandson said, "Great!".

Then one of my 3-year-old namesakes came up and said, "Grandma, my hair!" I put her barrette back in place and she literally jumped with appreciation and said, "Yeah!".

Back to back to back I got to feel useful and helpful to people I love. And, I wonder if, when we reach a certain age, maybe somewhere in our sixties, we stop feeling quite as useful. And maybe that's what's wrong with getting old.

But a little while ago, I got to feel very useful and helpful. And my family is coming and my heart is light. If someone could bottle this feeling, they'd be the richest person in the world because it's pure happiness. In fact, if someone could bottle this feeling, everyone could feel like I feel right now.

And it really couldn't possibly get any better than that!

Mother's Day

Who could have foreseen it? Six beautiful children. I remember all the Mother's Days when our kids were young spent with my mother-in-law and my mom. What beautiful days those were. And I never thought ahead to the days when my family would spend Mother's Days with me. And it's a good thing too. Because I might have looked disappointed. I won't lie. I am taken aback at the way things have worked out. I never could have foreseen spending Mother's Day without a child in sight.

But it's happening and it's okay. I have one in San Francisco, the Detroit area, Louisville, Colorado Springs, Virginia, and Nebraska. Jobs, marriage, and the rare opportunity to just get away for a few days has caused this unusual scenario. So it gives me time to reflect on being the mother of these wonderful children. I read a letter in an advice column today from a mother to her children and it urges her children to tell her they love her now while she's alive. Later when they're at the cemetery is too late. She wants to hear it now. I thought there was a good message there but somehow it seems too sad and morose. Besides, I know my children love me. I know that despite the mistakes I've made (both real and imagined), they continue to be happy to have me for their mother. And that's why being the mother of six children that I adore and am proud of and the mother-in-law to all their spouses, grandmother to their children, and a great grandmother to one is enough.

This is what Mother's Day is about. It's a day to appreciate the incredible gift I've been given. No one's ever been given more.

I'm so very grateful for this day.