True Confessions

This is new for me. I've read True Confessions Tuesday blog posts with great interest when they're posted by other confessors but I've never really felt compelled to join in. Now I really do have a confession to make - actually two.

I've been doing Weight Watchers for a couple of months now on an increasingly halfhearted basis. And that's what my results have been - halfhearted. I started out fine but then I guess I realized that I might be successful if I wasn't careful so I became a Weight Watchers faker. And I started losing a few pounds a week. Did I say pounds? Ummmm No. I started losing a few ounces a week and then sometimes I gained a few ounces. And I cheated and cheated.

Then the last couple of weeks instead of doing Halfhearted Weight Watchers I started doing Wholehearted Crazy. Let's see. I ate whatever fast food I wanted. I ate two boxes of Swiss Cake Rolls. I ate Hostess Strawberry Cakes like they were a health food. And then, just to make sure I fell flat on my face, I quit walking.

Nancy over at Bacardimama sent me an email designed to pick me back up and set me on my feet. She said that the girls in the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans were going to start a team challenge and maybe that was just what I needed. I thought she might be right and decided I would join in. And this is where my first confession comes in.

If I was crazy before, I became insane now. I guess I thought I needed a last hurrah. I even drank a bunch of beer which I had not indulged in for a long time. And in the sneaky back of my mind I thought that if my weight was inflated on the first day of the weigh in, it would give me an advantage in showing a loss. At least that was my excuse even though I thought it was kind of unfair. But the one I really cheated was me. If I hadn't put that last couple of pounds on, I wouldn't have to fight through those pounds now just to get to a true loss. That's my first confession.

My second confession involves the Shred that I posted about yesterday.

I was all pleased with myself for getting through it and talking about my jelly legs and sore muscles and stuff and I didn't even know. I didn't find out until today how much I cheated my way through. Of course, this cheating couldn't be helped. I've never done a real push up in my life. I just can't. So I faked my way through. I blogged that I pulled up short in the jumping jacks because I thought it was going to be a longer stretch. Today I found out that, although I knew exactly how long the second jumping jack stretch would be and I did stay with it, I couldn't maintain through the next phase. I had to take a breather.

The good news is that the push ups I faked today were a tiny bit better than the ones I faked yesterday. The breather I took today was farther into the workout than the breather I took yesterday. And I heard Jillian say a lot of things today that I didn't hear yesterday which made for a more intense workout. So it's progress.

And it's all good. I just hope it isn't as hard to get started tomorrow as it was today and deep down, although I think it will actually be harder, I know I'll feel even better about it when I finish than I did today. And that's huge!