Sunday, May 9, 2010

Musings of Mother's Day In My Sixties

When my kids were growing up, Mother's Day was a big deal. We always went to my mom's and my mil's and tried to plan things so Mom wouldn't have to do all the work for the big group of kids and grandkids that would be coming over. In retrospect, I wonder how successful we were.

Today my kids are all over the country. From a distance they do a good job of letting me know that they're glad I'm their mom. And I enjoy the casualness of a Mother's Day where nothing firm is planned.

But I miss what I dreamed my Mother's Days would be. I long for my whole family together more than once every couple of years. I agonize over a son far away and unreachable. I'm not feeling sorry for myself - too much. It's just not how I thought it would be.

I have the best children and children-in-law in the world. I have 19 grandchildren that any woman would kill for. I have a great grandson that's brilliant and amazing and another one on the way. I'm blessed beyond reason and I'm so grateful. I thank God that I have Beth and her wonderful family in the area and I'm profoundly grateful for her baby, our newest grandchild. I'm so lucky.

But I can't help but feel just a tiny bit disappointed. Would anybody really believe me if I pretended I weren't? I wouldn't change one thing about my children and I wouldn't trade what I have for anything in the world but I have some advice for you. Never let your kids go to college in another area, never let them join the military, and never let them meet somebody that will sweep them away to another part of the country.

That's my recipe for a truly Happy Mother's Day year after year.

So that was the end of that post. That's how I left it while I did some housecleaning which is always a good time to do some thinking and I thought to add on two things.

One - I've got everything anybody could ever want. My kids, and this isn't just rhetoric, are as close to perfect as human children can be. And one day a year, things don't go my way and I write about it and feel kind of sorry for myself? I told myself to get a grip and remember what my mother used to tell me. "If wishes were horses, we'd all have a ride". Besides, when you're retired, isn't everyday Mother's Day?

Two - I don't like to admit it but there were times during those idyllic days when we created those (what we thought were) perfect days for our mothers and mils when I would say, "You know? It's my Mother's Day too. Wouldn't it be nice if I could just do what I would like to do?" Yes, I did. And I think I said those words out loud. So #2 is: Some people are never happy AND be careful what you wish for. LOL


  1. You're not feeling sorry for yourself, just missing your kids. It happens to the best of us. Just enjoy your afternoon and pat yourself on the back a couple of times because from what I can tell, you did and are still doing, a fabulous job.

    Happy Mother's Day!

  2. Oh Mom, this makes me so sad. The truth is, you deserve all of us there every year. After what you have done for us and all you have sacrificed for us, I could never put into words how grateful I am to have you as my Mom. I consider myself SO lucky! Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I love you!

  3. My Grandma is lucky, she has 7 of her children living in our hometown, one is in AZ, one in TN and my momma in heaven but she lived with her so that's actually 8. It must be hard to miss them so much, but you should be proud of the wonderful wings you have given them that have let them fly around the country.

    But you are totally allowed to feel selfish every now and then...we all do.

  4. You have one of the closest families ever and that's a tribute to you! Even though they couldn't all be with you in person, I know that's where they would have loved to have been if it would have been possible! Although your family is scattered, their hearts weren't scattered yesterday...they were all right there with you!

  5. Your family is so beautiful, Mary. And not just on the outside, I know that comes from you. I can hear my mother echoing your sentiment (not the wonderful family part...well, maybe) about having your children move away. It's hard on us too, I really wish we were all together more. How do we do that?

  6. I loved how honest you are in this post. You have a right to feel like this. It is so hard with a large family to have everyone right with you, but it's wonderful when they pick up a phone to tell you they love you and you mean the world to them. You are so blessed to have such a large family. Happy Belated Mother's Day!


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