Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Maybe Some Things Were Better In The Old Days and Maybe They Weren't

Thirty or forty years ago it wouldn't be at all unusual for a statement like this to be heard among young women, "I thought I was pregnant but I guess I was just late". And others would agree that they had had the same thing happen to them. And life went on.

Today, we don't have to be more than a day or two late before we can confirm what we're fervently hoping for or dreading fearfully. And when what we're fervently hoping for is confirmed, we can begin dreaming and celebrating. Our hearts are full and happy. We make our appointments and begin the long anticipated ritual of pregnancy. Then a few weeks later, there's that dreaded sign that everything isn't okay and later it confirmed. Devastation. Heartbreak. Loss. Pain.

After all, it's estimated that between 20 and 30% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. This, of course, includes pregnancies that end before a woman is even late.

Back in the day, we had to be more than late. We had to miss three times before we could even make an appointment to confirm what we suspected. Then, and usually only then, could the ritual begin. The appointments. The heartbeats. The love.

On one hand it might have been better back then. There was a suspected loss but not confirmed. Plans weren't interrupted and lives weren't scarred. Maybe that was better.

Today we know early, we dream, we hope, and if it doesn't go as we'd hoped, we mourn. And maybe that's better. Maybe that life that wasn't meant to be deserves to be mourned and missed by his or her mommy.

Maybe things weren't better back in the day.

1 comment:

  1. That's a tough one, I totally agree that on one hand if it really happened that early that it might be easier that you never knew, but like you said, maybe for that short time, that baby gets loved so much by his/her Mommy & Daddy and Grandparents, Aunts & Uncles...etc. that it is a good thing.


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