Friday, October 9, 2009

What Can You Say To A Pregnant Lady?

Beth at Ishouldbefoldinglaundry posted here about what not to say to a pregnant woman. I commented on her post that it's been so long since I was pregnant that I don't even remember the offensive things people said. But I do know there were a few because I broke all size records especially when I carried the twins for 42 DOCUMENTED weeks.

But it brings me to a really, serious question. What CAN you say to a pregnant woman or must you not say anything at all?

I once asked a pregnant woman when she was due and she said something like "NOT UNTIL APRIL 2010 (or some far off date). I KNOW. I look like I'm ready to go any MINUTE. EVERYBODY tells me that!" Well I hadn't told her anything. I was just happy for her being pregnant. There's something about pregnant women that excites me. I'm happy for them and emotional for the wonder of it all.

So this might remind us that pregnant women are sensitive women. They don't want us to judge their size or speculate about how pregnant they are or why they're pregnant or if it's good that they're pregnant. And sometimes they're hormonal. And we've ALL been there - pregnant or not.

I come from a family where we tend to carry big. Sorry girls, but you know it's true. I'll take the blame. I started it. I've seen pictures of my mother pregnant that, while I was trying to figure out if she was pregnant in the picture, the date is saying she's due in a couple of weeks. My sister carried the same way.

But back to the question at hand. What can you say? I know one thing you can say. Sarah, Beth's sister, told me that she was shopping at Target one day and someone asked when she was due. Sarah said not until December and the lady said, "You look SO CUTE!". It made her day.

We probably shouldn't say anything to pregnant women. First of all, their pregnancy is really not everybody's business. Secondly, sometimes when you inquire about someone's pregnancy, they aren't. And that's just uncomfortable. to put it mildly.

But I think pregnant women are beautiful, brave, and blessed; and, somehow I want to convey that. Is that so wrong? If not, is there a way to do it?

I'd love to hear from some women who are or were recently pregnant. Is there anything okay to say? If I think I have to say something, what might I say that you'd LIKE to hear. Anything?

Or should I mind my own business and be inwardly joyful for them and say a silent prayer that they have a beautiful, successful pregnancy.

I suspect that I just thought of the answer. DANG it!


  1. ok, I just left a big long comment and when I went to post it, my computer put up a screen that said I was having connection problems, and I lost it. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I'm SO MAD that I can't make myself type it again....I'll do it again soon....

  2. I am not sure if I can fairly answer this because I love being pregnant and honestly feel so gorgeous while pregnant that I enjoy the comments. It personally always made my day to hear that I was cute or glowing or that I was all baby. I just loved it!


Gentle, strong, kind or true, I'd love to hear what you have to say.
Short or long, it's up to you, your comments and thoughts really make my day!